2016 Orioles Opening Day: Live Blog!

Welcome to Orioles Opening Day 2016! For the third year in a row I will attempt to live blog the Orioles first game of the season. If it’s anything like the other years, I’m sure that I’ll start out strong and fade quickly in both jokes and content. Enjoy the game!

(3:01) – Oh, hello baseball

(3:02) – I mean, the tarp is on the field…so let’s cool it with the “hello’s” for now

(3:04) – “Machardo”…Gary Thorne in mid-season form

(3:05) – Drinking a Great Lakes Turntable Pils for the game.Beer

(3:06) – Sorry I’m not drinking a Baltimore beer Orioles fans, this was the only beer in my fridge. Not that that’s a problem, Great Lakes beers are killer.

(3:08) – 8 minutes into the live blog and I’ve already lied. There is something else in my fridge to drink but I don’t want to say what it is…

(3:09) – Ok, it’s a “Not Your Father’s Root Beer”

(3:10) – Don’t judge me…

(3:12) – My attire for today’s game.Shirt

(3:13) – Hi, I’m a full sized adult who is wearing a Natty Boh shirt

(3:14) – 100% positive my wife doesn’t let me out of the house wearing this shirt (UNLESS it’s to a baseball game). Not that I blame her

(3:15) – Ok, rain delay, I’m going to go and do something else for a little bit.

(4:39) – TV is still on mute here as I continue to focus on something else, but it looks like players are starting to walk around on the field while the pitchers warm up in the bullpen. So I’m guessing they’ll be starting relatively soon. That’s some breaking news for you right there

(4:46) – And we’re under way with a VERY entertaining pop up to start the 2016 season

(4:47) – That first fastball from Tillman was only at 90 mph. Not a concern (it was ONE pitch), but it’s in stark contrast to previous opening days where Tillman seemed like he was pretty amped up and at hitting 95 or 96

(4:48) – Of course, as I am typing that he hits 94 mph and strikes out Mauer

(4:49) – Nice start of the day from Tillman.

(4:50) – Interesting to see the Orioles change their defensive alignment on Sano with two strikes. Wonder if that will be the next step in defensive shifts

(4:51) – Why in the WORLD are the Orioles showing a commercial featuring Schoop that shows words like “luck, fluke, and accident”?

(4:53) – Buxton making a great catch on maybe the hardest ball to field in the outfield, a line drive right at you. Tough to judge sometimes

(4:54) – For anyone wondering, my beer is not cold anymore. I highly doubt that anyone was wondering.

(4:56) If you were wondering about my beer, then we maybe we can get together sometime so I can tell you about my fantasy baseball team. But just my team, I don’t want to hear about your team

(4:57) – Mark Trumbo…singles hitter

(4:58) – Mark Trumbo…stolen base threat

(4:59) – Wieters breaks his bat in the first game. That’s a bummer. I once broke two bats on two consecutive pitches. It sucked and the pitcher thought he was hot shit. He wasn’t, they were really cheap bats.

(5:01) – Obviously Wieters was not looking for that pitch right down the middle. Bad end to a good at bat

(5:03) – Trevor Ploufe, he’s on my fantasy team you guys!

(5:05) – It’s been literally 7 batters and I am really sick of seeing “the power zone”

(5:06) – The Eddie Rosario tomahawk! He’s not on my fantasy team

(5:07) – Chris Tillman strikeouts are getting Mike Bordick all kinds of pumped up!

(5:09) – 5 strikeouts in the first 6 batters gets the first “MERCY!” of the year from Gary Thorne

(5:10) – Have I ever mentioned that I love Gary Thorne? I do.

(5:11) – Yeah, it’s raining pretty good in Baltimore right now (fortunately, I’m not watching the game in Baltimore.

(5:14) – Really nice catch by Rosario. This is not looking fun to play in.

(5:15) – Weather channel app saying it’s not raining in Baltimore. Either they are way off or they can tell the future and it’s going to stop raining in 3, 2, 1…

(5:17) – Joey Rickard gets his first major league hit. The city of Baltimore gets a collective erection

(5:18) – Machado strikes out and strands Rickard. What a bum!

(5:19) – By the way, I’m putting the over/under on me calling Joey Rickard “Joey RickARD” this season at 342

(5:22) – Another rain delay. I’ll be back again when the action starts…

(7:00) – Back! What did I miss? Couldn’t come back to the game right away because I was having dinner with the family

(7:01) – Looks like I haven’t missed anything really. My son by the way, went to daycare with an Orioles onesie on and did not come home with it on, which is pretty typical

(7:03) – Byung Ho Park gets his first major league hit. The state of Minnesota gets a collective erection

(7:04) – That not only the second time I tried to use that joke, it doesn’t work nearly as well in this situation

(7:05) – D-E-F-E-N-S-E

(7:08) – Outfield fairly shallow with Rickard at bat. Probably see a lot of  that this year

(7:09) – Not shallow enough apparently…Rickard with a “double”

(7:11) – To Rickard’s credit, that was great hustle on the double

(7:12) – That escalated quickly

(7:12) – Jones’ double is out easily on a warm summer day. It’s not, so it wasn’t

(7:13) – Good takes by Davis. Suzuki tried to frame them, but he’s not a very good framer. Still that second one looked like a strike to me. Maybe it was low?

(7:16) – According to the “the power zone”, everybody has power when the ball is thrown middle/middle. Man I hate “the power zone” already

(7:19) – Hindsight and all, but Fien probably should have busted one inside to Trumbo. Every other pitch (including the single) was on the outside corner outside corner or outside the zone completely (on the same side)

(7:23) – Need to remember to watch the new Ken Burns documentary on Jackie Robinson airing Monday on PBS.

(7:25) – Who was worried about Orioles pitching again? Me? No, that can’t be right

(7:26) – First time I’m actually seeing Givens pitch. Looking forward to it.

(7:26) – So, he just blew Buxton away with a fastball down the middle

(7:27) – Looks like it would be incredibly difficult for right handers to pick up the ball out of Givens’ hand. I’m guessing he goes through the league pretty well the first time around. Interested to see how he performs after AL hitters have seen him a couple of times

(7:28) – We shit on the Orioles minor leagues and player development (especially pitching) quite a bit, but Givens is a definite success story after he initially failed (drafted as a SS)

(7:31) – And by “we” I mean “me”. The “royal we” if you will

(7:32) – Rickard first Oriole to get a hit in his first MLB at bat since Schoop in 2013 according to Gary Thorne. That’s not that long ago Gary.

(7:33) – Don’t worry Gary, I still think you’re great

(7:34) – I never feel good about making fun of announcers. That’s a tough job and one that I would be especially terrible at. Have you listened to me on the podcast?!?!

(7:36) – If you think I’m good (or even decent) on the podcast, it’s edited (by me no less)

(7:38) – Crowd chanting JOEY, JOEY, JOEY. That’s gotta feel pretty great. However, he’s unable to loop in another hit. Minnesota outfield must have been playing even shallower this time

(7:41) – I’m slowing down here…

(7:42) – Hey, it’s Nate’s fantasy baseball team’s 1B/3B Trevor Ploufe to bring me a second wind!

(7:43) – Just kidding, Trevor Ploufe doesn’t have that kind of charisma and he just proved it with a groundball out

(7:44) – I’m not even spelling his name right. It’s Plouffe

(7:45) – OUCH!

(7:47) – Is it me or did Trumbo have a pretty good chance at catching that? It wasn’t THAT high up the wall and he seemed to have some time to get to the wall and grab it.

(7:49) – Did you know that it’s not how fast you mow, but how well you mow fast? Sorry, that commercial has been on a lot during this game

(7:50) – Brach in. He’s a good reliever but needs to keep the walks down

(7:51) – I’m probably more down on Brach a little more than most, but he’s still a valuable reliever in  his first year of arbitration this year

(7:53) – Nice catch by Rickard, but should he have let it go so the run doesn’t score? Probably more valuable to take the out there (although I don’t know the numbers of it off hand). Either way, tough to make that decision in the moment when your instinct is to get to everything and try and catch it

(7:54) – Byron Buxton has not…looked…good

(7:55) – Be right back…

(8:10) – Back.

(8:13) – Should the game go to extra innings, I’d be guessing that the Vanimal is the long man now that Wilson has already pitched

(8:16) – Hey look, it’s Trevor Plouffe!

(8:17) – Trevor Plouffe with a hit! It would have been helpful if it was a double that would have scored Mauer. Sorry, I know no one cares about my fantasy baseball team.

(8:19) – Also, I hate prioritizing my fantasy teams over real life. Rare slip up on my part. Good thing no one is reading this!

(8:21) – Sometimes my cat can be a real dick

(8:22) – Joey Rickard is the player of the game? As good a pick as any I guess

(8:22) – Hardy was a good couple of inches under that pitch at his eye balls

(8:23) – Schoop crushed that pitch. Another hit that is probably out of the park on a warm day

(8:25) – Joey Rickard is not apparently made of pixie dust. That pitch did look outside though…

(8:30) – Checked gameday on the Rickard strikeout. It wasn’t outside, looks like it got the outside corner

(8:32) – Zach Britton is doing very Zach Britton things

(8:34) – Davis is really having a nice game at first base tonight

(8:37) – C’mon Machardo! You’ll have to head back to the very beginning of this post to get that joke!

(8:39) – Not good at bats here in the 9th so far. Hopefully Jones is alright. As we all know, Orioles are not flush with outfield options

(8:41) – It’s up to you Chris Davis!

(8:42) – I’d definitely rather face Mark Trumbo than Chris Davis as well if I was Kevin Jepsen

(8:43) – Mark Trumbo…singles hitter

(8:45) – I would rather face Mark Trumbo again than Matt Wieters if I was Kevin Jepsen

(8:45) – Ha! Matt Wieters!

(8:47) – Thanks to whoever stopped in. This was a long one, but hope everyone enjoyed all the games today!

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